So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
