He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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