I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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