I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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