It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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