He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
