I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
