I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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