We're like a lot better than the average bears
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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