One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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