question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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