erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
