In the future we'll all be gay
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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