Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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