I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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