i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
