I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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