Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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