Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
