Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
