Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
