The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
