my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
