it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I didn't notice because vodka
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
