at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize