new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
