No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
