bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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