Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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