I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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