So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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