Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
