weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
