just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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