Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
