erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
