she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
