Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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