i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
