got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
