I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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