I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My penis needs a shock collar
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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