Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
