pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
