If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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