I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am one with the molecules
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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