he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
