Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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