the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
