Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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