Joe is yelling at the trees again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
