There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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