I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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