I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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