You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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