Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
