I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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