So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
